Perpetual Novembers; Spring Eternal in my Mind; Late-Summer Labyrinths: "I Have Been Raped a Thousand Times"... concerns about social media on Facebook...

Sunday, May 21, 2017

"I Have Been Raped a Thousand Times"... concerns about social media on Facebook...

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/05/i-have-been-raped-a-thousand-times/

I couldn't help myself... I had to respond... This was my response...:

My original comment to the friend who originally posted it:

"uhm... I'm reading this and thinking at the same time... that, I've been in that same place with women and even in that same place with my wife of 14 years... (Just in case you haven't read the original publication, I meant that I've been in the same situation described by the female writer, the same position she repeatedly found herself in; concerned about pleasing the other person when her mind said "no")... but I can't call it rape... an over-broadening of the concept/event...

Think about it...

come to Mexico or go to Spain or any other Spanish speaking country... Look for the word "rape"... Now if you can't find the word, you can't find the concept... Meaning that you can't express just how horrible is the event or the concept lived... not intellectualized... You can't condemn the act...

think about it...

and please don't bury this comment as do so many so-called intellectual activists (and feminists) here on facebook... Look at my postings about Eve and notice that NOBODY responded... read them... read just how horrific they are... and THINK...

Rape doesn't exist in Mexico; the #1 country in white slavery traffic and "kidnapping"... meaning that the girl, boy or young woman was pulled off the street and stuck in a "box" and shipped... and in the middle of that event, she (or he) was raped repeatedly... and then they are shipped to the U.S. and put on the market... to the rest of the world...

But in Mexico the only word we can find is "violation"... She was violated... "Fue violada"... Violada? How? In what context... Sexually abused does not reach the level of Rape... Abusada sexualmente... repeatedly... But, maybe she or he was NOT raped... Think about it... I wish Americans didn't have such the tendency towards diluting everything... the opposite of Mexico... Mexico negates... removes the event, the experience, the person... The United States or "Americans"? They make everything equal, confusing the truth and the situations... Everything is equal... Everyone's idea has equal value... And you can fight to the death for your petty idea, burying the less petty ideas because you find them offensive...

So, rape ceases having true importance... hence, later on it ceases having impact... Because now basically anything can be considered rape... "The dulling down of the 'American' Mind"? "The dumbing down of 'America'"? Have you heard those statements? Greatly related to how a Trump could be the top representative of the so-called most important country in the world... And the "American" intellectuals cry out "how could this be!"

This is just one example...

And that's that... ended with a "no"... with something she harbours wihin... the first man she trusted, she still had the "no" come out... And instead of mentioning a future with him... she mentions pushing him away... Think about it... Who's truly to blame? Isn't she exaggerating a bit...? Not about not being faithful to herself and not participating in the complete sexual act... but about it all being "no"?

Look. No one MUST have sex... not even with their own hand...

Yes, there are sexual drives... built in... and probably connected with the innate need for reproducing the species... and yes, this is a slippery slope used by religion, that traps women into being sexual objects without voice within marriages... it also is used against homosexuals... However, there is some truth in it...

And there are a bunch of people (many women) who prefer agressive sex... and nothing was spoken... A TON of pressure for men to "perform", to satisfy... since it is more difficult to satisfy the woman than the man... granted, dependent upon the true concept or perspective of satisfaction... Many people don't even know the extent of the concept... nor am I an expert... or a sexual master... always concerned that I'm not enough for her... and worried about her feelings if I haven't thought about having sex with her... How much pressure from the women...

But, truthfully, although it provokes thought, the main aspect of the piece is garbage... and also very destructive... if we want to continue confusing the matters more and more...

There are two people in a relationship... no one is a communicative expert, and most people don't understand their own impulses, needs, inhabitions, worries, childhood traumas, upbringing, enculturation... the complexity of it all... Most people don't understand that the mothers also teach the sons and daughters to be sexist...

But, RAPE is RAPE and shouldn't be confused and devalued or dimminished...

And here you have it... shared how many times... And how many people will criticize it? How many women? Men don't read feminist literature... When I write about these issues, even my most open-minded male friends stay away... Only women respond... So, someone out there should understand what I'm saying... That said, the feminist circles don't appreciate male voices... And the male in this piece is actually incredibly passive... which brings up the question: is that the only male not possibly threatening is the man who only thinks of her needs...? who is protecting only her feelings...?

Think about it... Think about the wives who love joking around about their having the first and the last word... My older sister and her husband... And the men who play the horrible game, "the wife is always correct..."

NO...

It's a relationship; we've gotta consider both people's perspectives and needs... Not all men rape (I'm certain it is a great minority of the male population)... or violate or sexually abuse... or are sexual predators or only think about sex...

But, there is an issue or a reality with the idea of sexual relationships... Why does she seek a sexual relationship with a man if she accuses all of them? "Guilty until proven innocent" and when she meets an innocent guy, she pushes him away... What rules in her relationship is her psychological or mental issue... her compulsive or obsessive need to say "no"... and she doesn't say that she was sexually abused or raped as a child or an adolescent, creating the true issue connected with her obsession... And you can acuse me of being "male" within this criticism...

Well, let me tell you... I was diagnosed years ago with all of the signs of having been sexually abused as a child... HOWEVER, I don't have the recovered memories and don't believe I will have them... I've studied the subject forwards and backwards... And I can't point my finger at anyone... That doesn't mean that it didn't occur... And, I will also tell you that girls/women are at much more a risk of being sexual prey... and it is a horrible thing...

But, again, it is a horrible thing that someone writes something like this and it is passed along...

Oh, you can criticize me for being fascist or against freedom of speech... No, I'm against a certain "American" tendency within activism of dulling down, dumbing down, confusing the concepts or overbroading them...

The world isn't divided into good and bad... Conservative and Liberal... That isn't the U.S., although many wish to believe that the Trumpers are the bad guys (includes the followers) and all of the rest are the good guys (and then you see the incredible infighting on the anti-Trump side, especially if someone isn't about to repeat the conveniently repeated and socially accepted by everyone)... But, that's what you're looking at... If Trump is impeached... IF... If he is thrown in Jail... Ha! Ha!... if he is assassinated by moderate republicans... the world (U.S.) will have been saved? End of the problem? As if there wasn't a much bigger problem... Like American intellectual laziness... Like lovers of "one-liners", buzz phrases and false news or quick and popular and convenient social media circulated on Facebook... Truthfully, it's all about the "American" culture of immediate gratification... and you quickly move on to the next video, idea, discussion, form of entertainment... miracle cures... easy solutions... "No please, don't make me consider future consequences or the 'bigger picture'!..."

If you have the chance to see this Kevin Kline film "Trade" that mainly takes place in Mexico do so... Most important are the statistics mentioned at the end of the film... mentioning that the trafficking of sex-slaves is first to the U.S. and then to the rest of the world... And that although the U.S. government knows about the trade, the actual organizations, where the children and adolescents are being housed, not one organization has been accused by the federal government, which brings up the question of "why"... Granted, this was 2007... who knows? Maybe values have changed...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trade_(film)

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Unfinished "Self-Portrait at 33"

Something I've dreamed of painting since just after my ultimate surgery in 2001. I post this now since I don't know if I will have the chance to work on it before going back on the road on Sunday... The problem is I've been sick for the past 5 days, painting this for the past week, a few hours per day. Whatever the sickness is, it isn't anything I've known and seemingly changes every day. In order to guarrantee my being well anough for the intense work for the following month, I may have to leave this hanging until I return at the end of August...

"La Sonrisa de Amarillo" (Amarillo's smile).

"La Sonrisa de Amarillo" (Amarillo's smile). José and Nicolas were commenting that I should sell the shirt I use for painting, since it is covered with paint. And then José said, "better yet, I'll give you one of my shirts to paint..." It was a joke. But I took it seriously. He has shirt he bought 4 years ago in Zacatecas with a copy of a painting of a bull in a bull fight. However, the print was erased from the shirt years ago. So, I decided to use the space that had the bull. "Amarillo" (Yellow) was the dog at my in-laws ranch when Margarita and I met. Due to a bad fight, he was left with one side of his mouth and one of his ears mangled, which gave him a permanent half snarl with one fang sticking out. He died years ago. But we often mention him...

New House/Studio Guadalajara

Over 20 years ago our friend José "Montaña" bought a parcel of land in the center of Guadalajara. His uncle who was a constructor/mason helped José build the brick house that has 6 bedrooms. Not long afterward, José entered into his older brother's Indian crafts importation business and decided to sell the crafts in fairs around Mexico. His brothers were one of the first people in Mexico City to enter into the Krishna movement that gave them certain perks. While José became vegetarian 4 years ago, sells the Indian furniture and crafts etc, has a giant shrine to Ganesh in his house and hosts the Mahareshi at least two times a year, José doesn't consider himself a Krishna. For at least 15 years José experienced extreme success in the fairs and was able to send his children to private English Language schools (his oldest son went to University in Texas and Married there),was able to visit with his children the U.S. and India and even bought the "castillo" (castle---an insider joke) next door. For years he used it as a store house and for a shop where Mary had workers fabricating crafts and Mexican/asian Indian style clothing. Then, about 4 years ago, Mexico entered into the international economic crises and José began losing money in the fairs. (I, on the other hand, have managed the situation and the coffee business well enough to be able to improve our economy over the past 2+ years, although this year we lost half our fairs (my decision not to enter into suddenly horribly violent zones where the people are fleeing and have fair to go out to the streets.) Out of desperation, José put the house he built on the market and moved his family into the "castillo"; his children were not happy. The "castillo" was built in the 19th century and has very high ceilings and wonderful giant windows and a terrace surrounding the second story kitchen. After a year on the market, One of José's Asian Indian suppliers bought the house and decided to put it on the market. A year ago, dreaming of having an artist studio/house in the center of Guadalajara with it's majestic tree-lined streets, I asked José to contact the Indian suppliers to see if they would sell the "guest house". José replied that he couldn't locate the Indians' representative in Guadalajara. And that ended that fantasy. However, a year later, upon returning to Guadalajara, Margarita called Mary who asked Margarita if we were in need of a house. We had just rented a house for 3 months (a house infested with cockaroaches). However, I had to see the house. The moment we set foot in the empty guest house without kitchen, bathroom, closets, I was hit with the return of the dream I left behind when we left Guadalajara last November. This time I could see all the projects we would begin over the next 10 years. So, we decided to rent the house and hoped that the 32 day fair in Guadalajara would be good for us; and it was. So, now we are "building" the kitchen, we bought a new refrigerator, are having a stainless steel restaurant sink fabricated for us, are looking for good furniture, looking into nice tiling and thinking about the future one more time.

"Hummingbird Goddess of the Mountain"/"Diosa Colibrí de la Montaña"

Crucified Pregnant Woman

(Unfinished Painting November/December 2010). This was the last painting I worked on before putting aside the painting and drawing for 6 months. I don't have any artist training. I haven't ever taken a painting or a drawing class. I don't know anything about anatomy and I have NEVER seen naked pregnant woman, let alone a naked pregnant woman on a cross. That created a hell of a headache working on perspective and shadowing... How does a head hang with the arms spread outwards to the side? My dilemma. After the fair of Tepic, I asked my friend José "Montaña" to take it with him to Guadalajara. Truthfully, it created so much stress that I really didn't want to see it. The problem is that we don't have a house of our own. I don't have a studio for storing my work and supplies...

Stream of Consciousness Drawing "Your Turned Back/The Cold Shoulder" July 11, 2011

In La Isla de Mexcaltitan, Nayarit

The story goes that the group of Mexica indians had a dream one night of the great city of Tenochtitlan they would construct 200 years later in the Valley of Mexico, now known as Mexico City that later on became known as the Aztec Empire. The dream was had on the Island of Mexcaltitan, Nayarit. Upon leaving his "home" on the edge of the river Antigua in Veracruz, Cortez journeyed to the center of what is now known as the Republic of Mexico and conquered the Aztecs, with the help of the Totonoco indians of the region known as Veracruz. Cortez destroy the Grand Tenochtitlan, probably the largest pre-hispanic city in the Americas and constructed churches and cathedrals where the ancient temples and pyramids had been...

Pico de Orizaba in the Morning

I took this photo during our Sunday morning walk. We found a wonderful route that circles Margarita's parents' house; great for a jogging route. When I've run in Mexico, Margarita was my running partner. Back in 2005, when we were running in the Lakes, there were many times when Margarita ran faster than I ran. But, I always passed her on the hills... The wonderful thing about this route is that it passes through the woods, coffee plantations and sugar cane fields; a lot of hills as you can see... So, we've decided that, if we have a strong finish of 2011, we'll buy land here and build a house.